Darcy Wields Mew Mew
by fire in my eyes
Summary: Based on a Head Cannon I came across on Pinterest. Darcy asks Thor if she can attempt to lift Mjolnir, and surprises them both when she is able to. Then she proceeds to level a dealership with the lightning conjured by Mjolnir. Rated T for minor swearing.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: *Cry cry sniffle* I in no way own these characters, nor do I profit from writing this fan fiction. Credit for head cannon goes to the most awesome fandom.

Head cannon inspiration: Darcy is actually able to lift Mjolnir she's just not allowed to. The last time she did she broke a car lot. Not a car-an entire dealership. SHIELD had to cover (and cover up) the damages.

"Hey, big guy, so I always wondered what that strange alien writing on Mew Mew says." Darcy chirped at Thor's elbow as they stood upon the roof of a used car dealership. They'd come up there for what Darcy liked to call their Hammershock Time. They chose the dealership because it reminded them of the service station in Puente Antigua. Thor looked down at Mjolnir attached to his belt at her words.

"It says, whoever lifts this hammer, should he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor."

"Sweet. So like, if someone else could lift it, would you have to fight till the death for your throne or something?"

"No, I am rightful heir to the throne, therefore no one else may rule, especially one who is not an Aesir. They would merely be able to wield Mjolnir, and call forth lightning." Darcy's eyes bugged, then took on a gleam of mischief reminiscent of Loki that gave Thor's heart a sad but affectionate twinge. Thor thought he could guess what was going through Darcy's mind, and decided in that moment to humor her so that he could witness her brand of mischief.

"Could I try? Please, please, please?" she confirmed his suspicions giddily. Thor couldn't help but chuckle at her excitement, and detached Mjolnir from his waist and sat it at her feet. Thor stepped back, crossed his arms and smiled, waiting to see her struggle with his weapon. He imagined she'd give it a valiant attempt, and when she was unable to lift it would crack a joke about how it was no wonder his arms were so drool worthy.

Yet, completely shocking Thor speechless, Darcy gave a girly squeal and lifted Mjolnir from the rooftop.

"Fuck yeah!" she exclaimed happily, and with a saucy hip wiggled thrust Mjolnir into the air above her head. This broke Thor out of his shock, and nearly gave him a heart attack.

"Darcy!" he cried, hoping to stop her somehow before she called forth lightning, but knowing he'd be too late. Dark clouds formed in the sky, thunder boomed, and with a crack lightning shot down to Mjolnir. With a screech of terror Darcy flung her arm out away from herself, and leveled the dealership below them. Cars flipped and exploded into fireballs that Darcy and Thor would later marvel at. The ground shook, concrete splitting and rising, and with a drop to her stomach Darcy felt them start to fall as the building came crumbling down. Thor grabbed Darcy by the waist, took Mjolnir from her hand, and just in time managed to get them airborne. They landed across the street from the now desolated dealership. Darcy stared at the destruction she'd caused, mouth agape. Thor, concerned for her, rushed to assure her that it was all right and not her fault, but she struck him speechless once again.

"That. Was. Awesome!" she turned and grinned up at Thor, a maniacal gleam in her eyes. Thor mirrored her grin, and decided then and there that Darcy would be his honorary little sister. He couldn't help but to think that she and Loki would have liked each other well, and wished she could have met him. Then he thought about the havoc they would wreak together and shuddered. Perhaps it was a good thing they'd never met.

"Now I understand why you were freaking out when you crash landed here without Mew Mew." Thor looked mildly offended at that.

"It is Mjolnir, and I did not 'freak out'." Thor defended.

"That's what I said Mew Mew. And you totally freaked out. You were all 'Hammer Hammer'." She mocked in a surprisingly good imitation of him. They bickered like siblings about the pronunciation of Mjolnir and his freak out until SHIELD agents arrived on scene about ten minutes after she'd leveled the place. Fury and Natasha were amongst the cleanup team, and headed straight for Thor and Darcy. Thor though about taking the blame for the destruction, but still smarting over Darcy's slight against him and his hammer he decided not to.

"Care to explain what the hell happened here?" Fury demanded more than asked. Darcy would never admit it, but he intimidated the ever-loving shit out of her so she tried to play it cool and keep her mouth shut. In true cliché form, she put her hands behind her back, lifted her head and started to whistle a cherry tune. Natasha and Fury leveled their glares on her instantly.

"How exactly is this your fault?" Natasha asked.

"What makes you think it's my fault? It's his hammer."

"Did she insult your manhood, or question your power?" Natasha turned to Thor.

"Nay, she did this herself." He responded simply.

"How exactly did she manage that?" Fury demanded.

"She wanted to attempt to lift Mjolnir, so I placed it at her feet, and she lifted her quite easily. She did not fully comprehend the power she wielded. "

A moment of shocked silence passed. Both Natasha and Fury looked equally disbelieving and surprised. There was so much surprise that Darcy got a little offended.

"What? You think I'm not worthy enough? Guess what bitches, I totally am."

In the end Fury decided not to believe her, despite the video footage that supported her claims, and Natasha instructed Thor never to allow Darcy near Mjolnir again. Thor needed no persuading, and despite Darcy's numerous attempts, has not given into her mischievous whims again.

Much later, when the Avengers were enjoying some down time in the Avengers Tower, Tony decided to start a game of who can lift Mjolnir. Steve managed to budge it, and for a split second Thor's smug smirk slipped into a concerned frown. He feared another incident like the one Darcy had caused, but when Steve couldn't lift it Thor and Natasha shared a knowing smile. Both thinking about Darcy's handling of Mjolnir, and how none of the Avengers would believe she unlike them could lift it. Then thinking about how Darcy would react to the game he said urgently to Natasha.

"Darcy can never hear of this." With a laugh, Natasha agreed.


	2. Darcy Goddess of Mayhem and Discord

Disclaimer: I do not own rights to Marvel Comics or the MCU or its characters. Nor do I make any profit off this fan fiction.

Reviewer Credit: This goes out to the lovely reviewer ZodiacsKlaroline who wanted me to do a continuation of my one shot. Your suggestion of plot was great and I loved it instantly. I hope this lives up to your expectations.

The Review That Started It All: Please oh please you have to continue. Maybe Darcy goes to Asgard and causes mayhem there. Mmmm I liked the sound of that. Darcy, Thor's wife Goddess of Mayhem and Discord.

"Darcy, let it go." Jane groused, exasperated by the constant interruption of her SCIENCE! Time. Darcy had been whining about Thor letting the Avengers play around with his hammer. As if that wasn't asking for sex jokes. At first Jane had been amused. She'd heard all about Darcy's mishap with Mjolnir, and Thor's lovesick recounting of how fierce some she had looked wielding his weapon. Again another dirty joke opportunity. Jane had long ago accepted that Darcy and Thor were more suited for each other than she and Thor, and had even tried to push the two together. That wasn't happening as fast as she'd thought it would, both seemed content to deny their increasing romantic feelings for one another under familial affection. It was obvious to everyone they knew that the two were star-crossed, and head over heels for each other. Sometimes Jane just wanted to scream at the both of them to just jump each other and be done with it. This Mjolnir situation was no different from their mating dance of awkward. Darcy didn't want to tell Thor she was upset that he'd let the Avengers try to lift Mjolnir, but wouldn't let her show them that she could do it.

Jane had been there when Darcy had found out, and seen how upset she'd been when Steve laughed, not in a mean way, when Darcy proudly declared she had lifted Mjolnir once. In Steve's defense, he wasn't yet caught up on 21st century humor and thought it was just another one of Darcy's jokes that he never got. To Darcy it had felt like an adult laughing at a silly child who thought they could do something they clearly would never do. As if someone being able to do unbelievable things was actually unbelievable in this crew. Jane was a little disappointed in the Captain for discounting Darcy so easily, but she didn't say anything to him. Not that she wouldn't stand up for her friend, but she really didn't want this Mjolnir thing to get out of hand again. After all the last time Darcy had held Mjolnir she leveled a car dealership. No, Jane decided it was best left as is, and they should all just move on from it. Unfortunately, Darcy didn't seem able to.

"Let it go? Are you kidding me? Captain freaking America laughed in my face. Sweet as apple pie, good ol' boy, Steve Rogers, laughed in my face, Jane. How am I supposed to let that go? As if I, Darcy Lewis, couldn't possibly be more worthy than the freakin' Avengers. No, I'm just the stupid poli-sci drop out that SHIELD let tag along because I saw too much." Jane had never heard Darcy speak badly about herself. As much as Jane was tired of Darcy's moping, it was mostly because she was her friend and didn't like it when she was upset. Jane knew none of the Avengers or their squishy friends (as Darcy had dubbed them) would ever think of Darcy that way, but they'd all somehow managed to make her think it of herself.

"Darcy, no one thinks that about you. So what Steve doesn't believe you could lift Mjolnir, many more people do. Fury, Natasha, Thor and I, all know you can and have. You've never cared what anyone thinks of you. Why are you letting it bother you now?"

"I've never had to compete with honest to Thor superheroes before, Jane. Seriously, not only are they Avengers but their squishy people are either super geniuses or a powerhouse CEO of the world's most lucrative industry. How else am I supposed to feel?"

"Darcy-

"No, forget it. I don't even want to talk about this anymore. Go back to your science. I'm going to get some coffee." The fact that Darcy said that without any inflection and no implied capital letters in the word science made Jane realize this wasn't Darcy's usual complaining. Darcy wasn't going to get over this quickly, and joke about it tomorrow. If Jane couldn't get through to Darcy only one other person could. She had to go find Thor, and for once SCIENCE! was going to have to wait.

Thor was not pleased, in fact he was angry enough to conjure lightning, only he didn't know who to use it on. Himself, Steve, or Nick Fury? Himself for not knowing how upset Darcy was and how they'd all inadvertently made her feel. Steve for laughing at her instead of believing in her. And Nick Fury for refusing to admit what he knew to be true, and not allowing Darcy the opportunity to prove herself worthy to the Avengers. Many people would have to answer for this, and Thor would make sure they all did, and since Steve was the closest, he would be the first.

"Steven, I must speak with you." Steve stopped what his was doing at the sound of his name. The fact that it was Thor who had called him that concerned him. Usually the Asgardian called him shield brother or Captain, and his voice was always jovial. He sounded angry, and that also concerned Steve, not much angered Thor.

"What's up Thor? Everything alright?"

"No. You have upset Darcy, and you need to atone for your actions."

"When did I upset her, how did I?" Steve was confused.

"You laughed at her when she told you she'd lifted Mjolnir. You, who better than anyone should know what it is to be discounted as weak and unworthy, did not believe her to be. What do you have to say for yourself? And be careful what you say, shield brother or no, I will not hesitate to use Mjolnir against you."

"Whoa, hold on. Darcy really did lift Mjolnir? I thought it was a joke. You know I don't always understand what she says, and usually half of what she's saying is supposed to be a joke. I just assumed that was too."

"It was not. The Widow, and Fury both know that Darcy has wielded Mjolnir, and because they were afraid of what she would do they ordered her never to do so again. Make no mistake brother, Darcy is worthy, even more worthy than you."

"Wow. Um, yeah, I'll apologize to her, Thor. I really am sorry."

"Good, I will not have to battle you for her honor. I am relieved, I did not wish to bear arms against a fellow shield brother. I must now go find Darcy and make amends myself."

"Wait, why won't Fury and Tash let Darcy handle Mjolnir again?" Thor just laughed.

"You should ask Darcy when we return and you apologize."

"Return from where?"

"Asgard."

"Holy crap. No wonder you scoffed at Tony's penthouse."

Thor had apologized to Darcy, and reassured her many times that she was worthy of Mjolnir, and as such of Asgard. To prove his point he took her to his realm, and he was never so proud of his place of birth as he was when he saw the awe in her eyes. She was beautiful to him, worthy of Mjolnir, worthy of Asgard, and he hoped one day she would come to believe him worthy as she was. He'd known for some time that he was in love with the young mortal, despite his distraction over Jane's in- your- face beauty. Jane was the first one to catch his eye, but Darcy was the first to catch his heart. He was hesitant to tell her, though he couldn't be sure why, he'd never been hesitant before. His feelings were returned this he knew, Jane had told him, but it would not be easy for her to be bound to him. As heir to the throne of Asgard whomever he took as wife would have to be tested by Odin. Odin's test would not be easy on an Asgardian, let alone a mortal woman. Thor did not doubt her worth, but Odin would. For now Thor would simply enjoy the wonder of Asgard through his mortal's eyes, and worry about proving her worth to his father later.

"I did not scoff, I merely was not as impressed as he wished I had been."

"For you that is scoffing. Tony's face when you called his home humble was the most hilarious thing I'd ever seen." Darcy laughed, and Thor's stomach clenched, and his chest near burst with affection for her. He was, as Jane would say, so screwed.

They had been in Asgard less than two hours and already Darcy had managed to offend the Allfather, endear his mother, swap clothing with Sif, eat too much with Volstagg, convinced Hogun to let her carry his sword (and made him SMILE!), and she had made Fandral cry. Now she was nowhere to be found, and Thor was worried. There was no telling what could happen with Darcy on the loose and unsupervised. She could cause an inter-realm war, or she could be reenacting some Midgardian film she'd been trying to convince him to watch, something about a Lion that talks and kids who walk through wardrobes. Or she could be with Heimdall being taught the ways of the universe. There really was no way of knowing what she would do, create chaos and destruction, or bring peace and laughter to the nine realms. It was no wonder why he loved her, but it was not an easy thing either. When Thor finally found her he was both relieved, and fearful. She had somehow managed to find the dungeons, slipped past the many guards, and located his brother's cell. Thor did not let himself expect anything of the encounter, because he knew not what to expect with those two. Laughter was one of those things that would have been expected, and also feared. Loki used to laugh a lot before his fall, then his laughter had become dark and maniacal. The laughter he could hear from his brother made him want to weep, for it was the laughter of better times, and good blood between them. As he approached Darcy's voice reached him along with Loki's calming chuckles.

"…I swear I thought Nick's remaining eye was going to fall out of his head. He's in so much denial now though. Like your muscles have to have muscles in order to pick up Mew Mew." Loki laughed again, and Thor was sure it was because she'd called Mjolnir Mew Mew. Again. Despite how many times Thor had tried to correct her pronunciation she refused to call it anything else.

"You, I must say, are an amusing mortal. Had you but been around during my short rein on Midgard." Loki mused humorously. Thor shuddered again at the thought of what the two of them could do together, and in an effort to shake of the possessive anger he felt.

"Yeah, dude, you totally blew it that time. You should have mind whammied Natasha, she gets shit done." Loki's smile was equal parts amused, regretful, and impressed.

"Indeed she does, and you would have been a worthy ally too, Lady Darcy."

"Thanks, man it's sad when the villain thinks you're more worthy than the good guys do, but Thor set them straight and Captain America totally groveled for forgiveness, which was awesome. Also hilarious, cause he looked like a scolded child, only you know six foot damn with muscles on top of muscles."

"You certainly have a way with words." Again Loki was amused, and for the first time in too long his eyes were void of madness, and he seemed unburdened. Thor fell a little more in love with Darcy in that moment. He would have continued to watch them secretly had his brother not noticed him just then. For a moment Loki looked pleased to see him, as if nothing had happened between them, as if he were not in a cell facing punishment for his crimes, and Thor was once again reminded of better times. It was gone too soon, and a mask was dropped into place over Loki's face. It was not the look of hatred and mocking that Thor had seen too often of late, but it was not the welcoming look he'd wanted.

"Brother, I see you have met Darcy."

"Indeed. She is not what I expected from a comrade of yours." Loki smiled at Darcy, as if to tell her this was not a slight on her, but on Thor. Thor did not know what to feel about that.

"She is unlike anyone I have ever met, and yet reminds me of you. No matter how many years I live, I am doubtful I would ever meet anyone as wonderful." Thor spoke sincerely, and Darcy near abouts melted into a puddle, and even Loki felt a little emotion at Thor's words. Loki could tell how Thor felt about the woman, and to be compared to him in a good light was not something Loki would have anticipated. Of course he did not let himself feel the warmth of nice words for long, he had an image to uphold, and was not yet ready to let go of his grudge.

"Perhaps you should have her named Goddess, so that all of Asgard knows her worth and standing with their future king."

"Perhaps I shall. What would you have her be Goddess of, brother?" Thor queried. The thought appealed to him greatly, and Loki, silver tongued as he was, would know the perfect title.

"Why of Mayhem and Discord of course." Loki smiled crookedly. Darcy beamed like she'd just been paid the highest compliment. Thor could not help but laugh.

"It suits her perfectly. Lady Darcy, Goddess of Mayhem and Discord. I like it."

"So do I, can we get that in writing or something? Do I get powers too? Can have a Mew Mew of my own?" both Loki and Thor laughed at this.

"All of the nine realms would quake in fear if you possessed power to suit your title."

"What a lovely sight that would make." Loki added. Darcy just giggled. Oh how he wanted to make her Queen, and watch the universe cringe. He felt a little like Loki's madness had rubbed off on him, and for the first time in all their years as brother's Thor finally understood Loki's penchant for mischief and chaos.


End file.
